Football Africa: It's over to Martin Tyler and Andy Gray in Aswan........

After what’s basically been weeks of solid driving and practicing our keepy-ups (well over 10 now, but whatever) we finally secured ourselves game of football. Our first official match, and ahead of schedule. Challenged by the locals of Aswan (It’s in Egypt, slowcoaches) we began preparations for a game of six-a-side.

As anyone who’s played foreign opposition will be aware, preparation is the key. Ask Fergie, Rafa, & Wenger. We thought about diet, or certainly Ed muttered something about ‘slow release carbs’ while we munched down on a small bowl of Koshary (macaroni, rice, lentils, tomato,chilli – it’s like an Egyptian McDonalds except good!)

The mind games had already started with our adversaries predicting victory, 4-0. One of their players, a young man who supported both Manchester United and Chelsea talked up the clean sheet. They were cocksure, and why not? They knew the surface, they were acclimatised, and played together often. We kept our counsel.

We’d drafted in Welsh International Neil Evans, ‘Welsh International’ by virtue of the fact he was from Wales, a fellow traveller on the road to Cape Town. Also in addition to our four we had 3 local lads to make up the numbers/guest internationals. So this was it. The stage was set. Superfit locals, born and raised in the heat of Egypt, a team forged together in the streets of Aswan , and ready to fight in a manner to make their town rightfully proud.

We were 4-0 up pretty quickly. Generally people are unprepared for how good Andy is at scoring goals and the Aswan VI were no different. Couple that with Barnards tremendous engine & ‘pass and move’ philosophy and the rather good news that Welshman Neil was pretty tasty (two footed, so rare in the modern game) and it meant all I had to do was loiter around at the back blocking the odd shot and dealing with the odd header. All done in a manner befitting a defender whose style and, sadly, physique are modelled on Neil Ruddock (towards the end of his career).

We eventually strolled out 9-4 victors. Our guest goalie had a solid game but may want to look at himself on one or two of the goals that would have seen an even more comprehensive scoreline but we had no real complaints. Howie boshed in 7 goals, Ed & Neil picked up the other two, and I remain fully confident that a dubious goals panel won’t credit me with an own goal. It was clearly going in anyway, and glanced my head...and the keeper should’ve done better, but, whatever, it doesn’t bother me.

After the game friendships were resumed, and we all shared a bag of delicious sugar cane drink before bantering the evening away. The ‘Football Africa Select’ content with its first competitive start on foreign soil.