Hello All,
JJ FootballAfrica here, it's been a while since we could sit down and take stock of what we're doing, so I'll try and fill you in.
Deep Breath...
...Twickenham Tesco. Drive, drive, drive, late for ferry, just make ferry, coffee. France, drive, drive, drive, Lens, sleep in truck stop, freezing, Ed spoons me for warmth, Ed made to sleep in Land Rover, coffee, croissant, drive, drive, drive, drive.
Geneva. Makes freezing look like the centre of the sun, sleep in vehicles, feet go numb, begin to feel misled about the general warmth of trip, drive, drive, drive. Mont Blanc. It's beautiful, scenery is phenomenal, almost makes me forget the...drive, drive drive, Genoa.
Lose keys to Lady Jayne (Green Land Rover), find keys to Lady Jayne, see a dead pigeon, have first kickabout, get on a ferry for 24hrs, this is too long, have another nights sleep that involves being cold, man called Dimitri lets us use his shower, clean is good, ferry, ferry, ferry, consistently sing 'On a Boat' by Lonely Island despite only knowing 37 of the words.
Tunisia. Andy breaks in by driving straight through passport control. Passport people do not find this amusing. Drive, drive, drive, Sousse. Find cheap hotel, have beer, discover Liverpool have thrashed Villa and United have lost to Fulham, go to bed in mood, least cold night so far, wake up, another shop owner (who, it transpires, is a liar) tells me United won. Get flat on Lady Jayne repaired, try to join in football match with local kids, get rebuffed, young man called Makreb helps us sort both vehicles out and we give him 20 dinars. He asks for trainers, I sheepishly wander off, as does Ed, Charlotte folds like cheap suit and gives him her Astros, drive, drive, drive, Sfax. Eat seafood and egg stew, drive, drive, drive, Gabes. Find cheap hotel, next day head for Libya. Drive, drive, drive, Ed makes bullish/stupid overtaking decision, destroying Anglo-Tunisian Cab driver relationships, make pact to be 110% confident on any future driving decisions.
Libya. Driving safely is optional. It's like a computer game. A brilliant one. Head for Tripoli, and try and find cheap hotel, hotel is sooo bad that the contact in Libya insists we sleep in his office. Next day we get our guide through Libya. He speaks precisely zero english, which is a problem. Drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, drive, you get the drift. Stay where Andy used to work, guide uses the place to do some washing he has brought with him, get up and drive, Ed then dings Lady Jayne by drivng into the back of saloon, the police are fairly 'laissez faire' about the whole thing and give me a Steven Gerrard lighter, I give this to Andy, drive, drive, drive, for 900kms!, and finally get to the Libyan border. Where we stay for 5 hours. Our contact has forgotten to get a stamp done in Andy's passport. We play football with Police, guards, shepherds etc. Andy even gets in a game of sixty seconds. Passport fixed.
Egypt. Where we wait at the border for another 5 hours. Costs are astronomical to get in. Me and Andy slightly lose temper at the people 'helping' us. Play football with a crazy goalie who throws himself around as if the concrete is made of marshmallow, Lady Jayne runs out of battery, jump start her, apologise to all the people who were 'helping' us as they were actually helping us, finally leave border. Not really, Lady Jayne runs out of battery, jump start her,then leave, then jump start her, finally get her going and police give us escort to nearby town. Have amazing meal in local village, the dude who works there was a top fella, get up next morning and police are waiting to make sure we are ok and escort us, drive, drive, drive, drive, different police tell me and Andy to 'Quieten speed', then escort us to a restaurant for lunch. Then help us out of town and towards Alexandria. drive, drive, speeding ticket for me and Andy (Whoops - also to make matters worse it was for going 70 and 72 respectively).
Alexandria. Once again driving is something of a lottery, as are our chances of finding the hotel we've been told to look for, Andy asks woman in street. She insists on, with no knowledge of english, getting in the car and driving with us to help find it. She then helps us book into hotel, park the cars, unload them, and basically make sure we are ok. Great success! She won't even accept a lift back to her home! We give her a football, which doesn't seem enough. Rooms are pretty sweet. Have a beer as reward. Get up, smack a quick 200km and we're in Cairo.
Cairo. Amazingly find dirt cheap hotel first time. And it's actually pretty sweet. It's also about 200 yards from the Pyramids. Stand on roof and watch Sound and Light show on the pyramids and drink Heineken. Use word 'Ace' a lot.
And thats us so far. Peace, I'm outta here.
JJ FootballAfrica x
Dude,
Looks and sounds amazing.
Keep safe.
Ollie
Posted by: Ollie | 04/13/2009 at 12:53 AM
wow. Please quieten speed guys.
Posted by: Robin Hodges | 04/24/2009 at 06:17 PM