Hello, Andy here. As you can imagine a lot has happened so far that it is hard to fit it all in – The driving has been extremely tiring but we’ve seen some amazing things and met some great people. The football project got under way in Ethiopia with a proper game organised with the University of Gondar. We also gave footballs away to a local HIV project run for young people and also to a local school. We filmed some of the work Link Ethiopia is doing in the area and potentially have linked up a school in Bahar Dar with one in London.
We've now met up with the CRDA in Addis Ababa who represent over 300 NGO's in Ethiopia. They really want to start some Tackle Africa projects all over the country and they've also arranged an 11 a side football match for us tomorrow morning. Then it’s off to Kenya to film the work Tackle Africa is doing there and also visit some projects of The Mango Tree. We will also be trying to play football with as many locals as possible and handing out more footballs to the community projects.
Anyway here are a few hints, tips and pieces of advice for anyone who’s interested in the route so far:
Europe
French roads are le boring. Really le boring.
Don’t sleep in French laybys. Far too le uncomfortable. Far too le cold.
European petrol is too expensive.
Geneva has nice mountains. Geneva is cold. Geneva is uber expensive.
Driving around and through the Alps is really cool.
Vin Diesel lookalikes can be found at any moment at any time.
A Phillapeano barman on the ferry from Genoa to Tunis can speak in a perfect Yorkshire accent.
JJ and Ed can speak Romanian.
Don’t buy a cabin on the ferry from Genoa to Tunis. Get JJ and Ed to convince a Romanian truck driver to borrow their shower. You will find this to be a much cheaper option.
Charlotte can’t burp
Charlotte burps a lot
Tunisia
Passport control is for wussies. Just drive straight through.
Don’t drive straight through passport control. It is necessary.
Fixing tyres is uber cheap.
Don’t drive all the way from London with a screw lodged in a tyre.
Don’t bother doing vehicle checks. Random Tunisian men can take over and do it for you.
Do a favour for Charlotte and she’ll give you a pair of her trainers.
Don’t let a bus nearly drive in to the side of your car.
Ed and JJ turn a white colour if they nearly crash a car.
Tunisian border police like playing football with foreigners.
Tunisian border police like accepting footballs as ‘sweeteners’ to get ‘processes done with more haste’.
At least one Tunisian child smiles a lot when given football as a present.
Libya
Libyan paperwork is for wussies. Don’t bother with it.
Don’t go anywhere in Libya without the right paperwork. It is necessary.
Don’t drive through Libya with a ‘tourist policeman’ who doesn’t speak a single word of English. Not one. Not even ‘Hello’. Truly remarkable.
Drive around Tripoli. It gives you a buzz.
Petrol is uber uber cheap.
Don’t bother with spine tingling budget option hotels in Tripoli. Sleep in someone’s office.
Endless desert roads are mind numbingly dull.
Discover the map scale on your Lonely planet guide is clearly made up.
Use any contact on your phone that can offer you a place to stay for the night if you have one in Libya.
Decide whether your ‘tourist policeman’ has any genuine credentials to the post.
Decide he clearly does not.
Watch in horror as your ‘tourist policeman’ guides JJ and Ed in to endless potential catastrophes.
Get angry when he does it you.
Shout at your ‘tourist policeman’ in English.
Listen as your ‘tourist policeman’ shouts back in Arabic.
Let JJ film this process.
Get Ed to refer to the police as the ‘filth’ on film. It will make you laugh.
Get Ed to talk to Charlotte about ‘psychological profiling’ and then watch as he crashes in to the back of car.
Libyan policeman don’t really care about crashes.
Libyan policeman like offering Steven Gerrard lighters to JJ.
Don’t drive 900km in one day. You dream about endless desert roads.
If you can, avoid the border town of Amsaad. ‘Horrific’ doesn’t do it justice.
Make sure Libyan authorities stamp your passport when entering the country. It will save you hours at the border.
Libyan border officials like playing football. Especially the chief called ‘Idris’.
Be amazed that ‘Idris’ insists on driving with you sitting on his lap to the Egyptian border.
Egypt
Don’t bother listening to ‘fixers’ at the border. They get irritating.
Drive out of the border and don’t worry about the needless paperwork. Paperwork is for wussies.
They won’t let you in to Egypt without the ‘right’ paperwork. It is necessary.
Don’t leave fridge in car on at the border. It makes your getaway nigh on impossible without jump leads.
Witness one of the worst toilets situated in the world. At the border control. Truly disturbing.
Drive around Alexandria. It gives you a buzz.
Pick up local women if you get lost. They get you there much quicker.
Stay at the Sphinx guest house opposite the Pyramids in Giza. It’s uber cheap. You get uber good view.
JJ and Ed will say ‘ace’ a lot whilst watching the sound and light show. You will agree with them.
Continue to be amazed by JJ’s knowledge of all things film, TV and music.
Eat Koshary. Uber cheap. Uber tasty. Uber filling.
Let Ed sort out taxi fares with the drivers. He gets’ good price’.
Don’t bother with Sudanese Visas in England. It takes too long. Do it in Cairo. It takes 24 hours.
Don’t bother with the British Embassy in Cairo. It provides very disappointing customer service.
Don’t take a train back to Giza. It goes nowhere near the pyramids.
Listen to endless promises about ‘best price’.
Be assured that it is never ‘best price’.
Watch Charlotte find her ‘3rd eye’ and have her shakra washed away.
Agree with JJ and Ed that her shakra was ‘molested’.
Don’t drive to Suez. It really isn’t worthwhile. In anyway whatsoever.
Don’t go to Hurghada. It’s for Russian chavs.
Drive along the Nile while the sun sets.
Don’t bother with waiting for convoy to drive to Aswan. They don’t bother anymore.
Look on in horror as you nearly cause massive traffic accident while trying to be clever with a football.
Look on in even more horror as Ed smashes the same football ‘accidentally’ at a local disabled man.
Think long and hard about 100 camels for Charlotte.
Make it clear that the man must bring the camels first and then he gets the lady.
Play a football match against some very confident locals.
Destroy the locals 9-4.
Get Charlotte to try and film the match and then miss all 7 of the goals you score.
Get a match rating of 9 out of 10 from JJ.
Wonder what more you have to do to get 10 out of 10 from him.
Find out that you have to ‘track back more’ for that to happen.
Meet up with a Welsh couple who will agree to travel through Sudan with you.
Be relieved that the Welsh couple are a bloody good laugh and not some boring sods.
Drive your cars on to a small barge and be told they will arrive 24 hours after you arrive in Sudan.
Feel very nervous about this.
Decide against the 2nd class option on the ferry which will provide an array of disturbing smells. Give the chief engineer a football and get a small space on the top deck for you to lie down in instead.
Play a random music quiz with JJ that will keep you occupied for a surprisingly long time.
Let random Sudanese people stare at the group of you for the entire journey.
Don’t bother about getting cold on the ferry – Ed will give you his sleeping bag to keep you warm.
Wake up on the ferry having arrived in Sudan and be genuinely scared about the heat.
SUDAN
Don’t bother doing any of the paperwork for Sudan. A man called ‘Magdi’ will meet you on the boat and sort everything for you.
Don’t bother about finding a place to stay. You can stay at Magdi’s house.
Be amazed at the friendliness of the Sudanese people.
Continue to be genuinely scared about the heat.
Be astounded that your vehicles made it to Sudan.
If you can, avoid driving from Wadi Haifa to Dongola. Having no road makes it really difficult.
Seriously, the heat is unbelievable.
Go to the Blue Nile Sailing Club in Khartoum on arrival.
Get a man called Peter to give you a cold beer from the back of his car. It’s the best beer you will ever taste.
Stay at Ed’s mate from school dad’s house. It’s really nice and he is a really nice man.
Get invited to a dinner by some UN peacekeepers.
Be scared to go to the toilet at the UN peacekeepers as it’s very close to the dinner table.
Decide you really have to go.
Break the flush and pray they don’t notice before you leave.
Don’t bother taking vehicles in to garage for vital checks. Get British Ambassador to invite you to his house and then let him do it for you. Apparently it’s very relaxing.
It really is hot in Sudan. Seriously. Really hot.
You need a lot of water. A LOT. If you don’t you will ask a policeman for some of his.
Sleep underneath the stars on top of your vehicle. It’s worth it.
ETHIOPIA
Ethiopian border officials are unbelievably relaxed.
The road from Mabarat to Gondar is certainly picturesque but goodness me it’s really bad. And really tiring.
You will hear ‘you, you, you’ from kids a lot.
Don’t worry if you think your contact in Ethiopia doesn’t know you are there. He will have tracked you from the border.
Be amazed by the Ethiopian countryside. It really is beautiful.
Find out about Link Ethiopia and visit some of their schools. It is definitely worthwhile.
Meet a guy called ‘Million’. He knows everyone, everywhere and gets things done.
Play a game of football against the Ethiopian University champions in their own stadium in front of an eager crowd. It will definitely give you a buzz.
Have one shot. Get it on target. Score a goal. Take that stats man.
Lose 5-2 but be happy with the performance in incredible heat.
Start your own African chant on the back of a pickup with 20 Ethiopians.
Be relieved that they sing along as though it makes perfect sense.
Go to a genuine coffee ceremony in an Ethiopian home. It’s bloomin strong but it tastes and smells great.
Avoid the dog angrily munching on a lamb’s skull at the gate though.
Ethiopian kids can appear at any moment at any time.
They will still be there when you get out of the tent too.
They sure can sing a good chant though.
Stay at Wim’s Pizzeria in Addis Ababa. Classic dutch chilled out vibe.
Try not to get too annoyed with his dogs marking their territory all over your tents.
Especially the puppy as he’s so darn cute.
Meet up with CRDA for Tackle Africa. Lulu and Fasil are the men you want to meet if you want to play football and use it to raise awareness of HIV in Ethiopia.
Get Charlotte to stitch the hat you ‘borrowed’ from Ed in to one resembling a cowboys. A ‘homeless’ cowboy.
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